Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
