How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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