u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He felt like a one man threesome
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
