You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
