Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
