Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
