We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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