you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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