Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
