omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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