This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
