So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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