Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come back. Shots need mouths.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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