so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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