u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
