2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize