Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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