you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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