I got chris browned last night
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
