He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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