I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
