Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
