dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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