My brain says no but my pants say off.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
