Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
