as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
