the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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