I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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