Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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