You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
