if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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