Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
