i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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