Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you win again, gameday.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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