it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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