Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
