Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
