This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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