he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
