she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
