I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Boobs speak an international language.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
