Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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