I think scott just propositioned me for sex
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
