Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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