Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
