This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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