Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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