So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
