the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
