he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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